Geotechnical Jokes

The following is a collection from the writer's old exam files (with few additions for the occasion).

The question is True or False?

• Degree of saturation is the percentage of saturated samples obtained from the field.

• Active earth pressure occurs in active soils and passive earth pressure occurs in passive soils.

• Overconsolidation ratio (or OCR) is the fraction of samples that are excessively consolidated in the lab.

• The unconsolidated type triaxial tests, also known as the UU type, are performed on samples that are not preconsolidated in the field.

• Consolidation means solidifying together; it refers to the liquid phase turning solid and melding with the original solids in the soil. The concept should not be confused by a term defined in geology, which means soils turning into rocks (scary, isn't it?).

• Examples of active soils are San Fransisco Bay Mud and Boston Blue Clay, especially when active ingredients, such as sands and gravels, are added.

• Void Ratio is the remaining fraction of void samples left at a construction site in case a contract is declared void; it should be expressed as a fraction, not as a percentage.

• A factor of safety on shear strength should be applied in any situation when there is reasonable doubt that they don't know how to measure the shear strength in the lab.

• Consolidated type triaxial tests, like CU and CD, are done on samples that are not preconsolidated already.

• We say Trial failure surfaces when a court rules against a geotechnical engineer and this becomes obvious to everyone.

• Unconfined compression test is preferred by those who enjoy freedom so much that they despise confining anything.

• Correction factors should be applied on every single term of the bearing capacity equation because the theory is all wrong.

• An analytically oriented geotechnical engineer is one who has an analytical mind but doesn't have the courage to touch a soil sample---the fact is he/she couldn't get permission from his/her mother to play with dirt).

• An experimentally oriented geotechnical engineer is one that is still at an experimental stage---the fact is he did get permission from his mother, and he was able to figure out how to make a living playing with dirt!

• Specific Gravity refers to the gravity of the situation when soil properties are not specific enough.

• Two parties agreeing on how to solve their dispute out of court is called the settlement.

• Shrinkage Limit is to what extent one can lose weight.

• Geotechnical engineers are like wine; they get better with time.

© Copyright Mete Oner, 1997